maandag 11 april 2011

#Tryout Seven The Sweaty Situation

My name is Billy Johnson and i'm a hitman. I have been kidnapped by three men, two in costume and the latter in a hawaiian shirt with a bucket hat and weird looking glasses. I'm writing this on a noteblock, which they forgot to take from me. I can see that they aren't professionals, only a daft man and pissed off. The weird one for example gave me the word Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia on a paper and demanded me to say the word, with a gun point at my head. After a few times trying to say it the weird looking took the paper and looked at his friend. He nodded. The hatman took a knife and came to me. He said: "You passed the tongue test. we won't cut off your tongue. That's one thing you can keep and we won't touch it. YOU HEAR ME?"

I nodded quickly. "My, my , our little soldier boy passed the first ear test. That's a real shame because i wanted to reenact the scène from that movie which came out last year uhm....." He looked at his friend and the man in costume replied: Reservoir dogs from Quintin Tarantino, his debut film. " Indeed! Tarantino, how can i forget!" But look, there's a second test . Listen to this, mr. Johnson. hit it, Beast!

Beast must be his nickname. He hit the radio player and started a song.

The man with the knife started a little dancewalk which amazed me in its own weirdness. He started  to come closer, played a bit with the knife and held it in a position for cutting my ear off. "now, tell me one sentence from the song" I replied: You've got to pick up every stitch. "hmm, alright, passed the second test. Third test is endurance. Hit him, Beast.

The Beast started to hit on me. He kept hitting without taking a break.Some of my teeth were quite loose, i think i lost two of them. He stopped hitting me.
"Now, You passed all three of them. And don't ask why we do this. It's some ritual, it's a thing. Now, tell us how you knew we hid in Belgium."
I replied: Your friend there killed our boss and his son is now in charge. It seems you have a mole in your maffia. Oh, and the son is coming to this fucked up country, ready to kill him.
"Alright. I thank you for your cooperation. And we know this is a shit country, have you seen that Nine Balls thing in Brussels? it's a fucking disgrace.... anyway, we'll leave you for now, alone in the dark. Don't move" Both laughed and walked away. I was stuck on a chair with ropes all around me. Luckily they don't know how to rope someone so I got out quite fast. Now i'm only stuck in this room with a noteblock to write. Fuck this shit.

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