zaterdag 5 maart 2011

#Tryout Four: Moonilogical Zionist and Redneck'd Republicans

The End is Nigh: Charlie Sheen snored the Moon

Glooming eyes were staring at ridiculous moter-driven vehicles, steered by ingenius idiots and passing the vicinity of the street. Hearing the last sounds of their ecological weapons of ecodestruction, I then decided to move on walking the lonely road of wavering darkness, leaving one lantern to flicker on and off. I ignored the dead demons, staring with their big eyes, watching every step I make. I am in the Light, and the Light will protect me from their claws. Light went dead. The Light failed me. The dark power overthrew the lantern and the vicious beasts came closer, screaming soft noises in my head, smelling their stinking horrifious breath. I envy the creatures. No livechanging choices that have to be made at a supermarket deciding which toothpaste is the best for you. Colgate? Colgate Sensitive? Herbal White? Max Fresh? Bi-Fluor? Demons do not care about hygiëne.

My hearing sensed a car coming closer. A wheeling monstertruck in the right corner of my eyes, blinding me with the powerful Light of the front lamps. The beasts fled away, calling my name in the wind. Are these the critics of my thoughts? Have I been too hard on the Moped drivers so they've sent me an army of demons? There's only one certitude in these streets and that's the giant man who climbed out of his truck. He saved my soon to be demon meat ass. I called this massive clouded giant The Rider.  His bolstered hands would destroy my small pen hands. The Rider ignored the hand problem and invited me to his monstereous truck for a ride. I felt like a small human being whilst entering the coloured monstertruck.

We had some unimportant smalltalk for a while but then he changed the subject with a question that shook me, i was staring at the sidemirrors and their redesigned reflections. I can not believe my ears when i heard it. A question as old as Jacob. Sweet Jesus, i'd rather go fight another round with those demons than sitting one more minute in this forsaken death trunk. This fiendish beast dared to ask my opinion on Jews and politics.
I held my lips tight together and decided to create a friendly sound with my vocals: "Why don't you start first talking 'bout it, dear Rider?" He started guffawing at me. No reason why.

We were driving into Skull Street, dead military Pro-Kadhaffi skulls were crushed by the weight of the hideous truck. We turned at the crossroads, entering a street that looked like a red sea of blood, floating dead bodies of people. The truck stopped and i saw a broken neon-board titled " Zion". the building itself was torn apart, leaving only a red streaming trail coming from those ruins. Rider started talking. "Fucking Zionists fucked everything up. They are the real rats that should be slaughtered and look at this place....we finally succeeded in our mission." I had no idea what was sitting next to me. A Neo-Nazi, a Jew, a Neo-Jew? a Redneck? A Conservative Neo-Jew Redneck Republican Asshole?
There's only one thing i'm certain of: he hated Zionists. I did not feel the urge to ask why he hated them so much so I asked him if he's a republican. "What in God's name are you rambling bout, off course I am. And pretty damn proud of it too!" Mystery solved. "And what do you think of the Democrats, Rider?" i said, carefully weighing my words.
" Fucking scum, that's what they are. Every time i see one I feel this same rage I have with the Zionists.... YOU AIN'T A FUCKING DEMOCRAT, RIGHT? he yelled with a less stinking demon breath. " Good Lord Almighty, no , I'd rather vote for the Libertarian National Socialist Green Party and Eco-Fascism than voting on a whore or a black street dog" I said while trying to talk my way out of this horrible situation.

We left the horrible street and i quickly said: "Thank you for the ride but I have to murder a Zionist in a few hours, so farewell my friend" leaving him with a smile on his face. I finally escaped the monster. I was alone in a new street with new fears in my heart. The only certitude I have is the moon. Problem is that there was only a half moon left this night. Charlie Sheen snored the other half. A great applause for this moon, coke and vile fluid snoring unhuman beast of truthfulness. You are Winning, good sir, yes you are.

This was extremely long. Hope you'll find the time to read it because it's damn awesome. Also, pc crashed while writing( love the concept saving button!)  Oh right, this is for entertainment purposes only. I do not mean to hurt certain societies/beliefs.



18 opmerkingen:

  1. Yeah it really is awesome! Followed!

  2. Sorry Reilly, tl;dr :/

    lol sorry

    The first paragraph, it's almost a description on a game I know.
    I don't recall its name though.
    But the object of this game was to solve puzzles and reach certain areas within a floor while walking in light. Walking in dark would cause you to loose health.

  3. i actually read the whole thing!

  4. seriously? i dont really know that game, is it an old one?

  5. this is so well put. really controversial for my taste, but the writing was exepctional

  6. Thank you for your opinion. I know that i crossed the line several times with this post. It's the view of an outsider ;)

  7. Too long, did not read? You are influenced by the rapidness our Western culture has to endure. Everything needs to happen faster and faster on a limited timescale. I welcome you to come back when you are doing nothing/bored :)
    But thanks for trying anyway and I know this one was very long :)

  8. I liked it! :D Love how you put Sheen in there, haha. He's got tiger blood, man.

  9. Great story and I like how you added that Charlie Sheen bit at the end :)

  10. i had to come back to read this again! couldnt stop thinking of it all day lol

  11. Very interesting, a bit long though.